Choosing what to say no to

Every yes costs something. Time, energy and attention are limited, so the clearest way to protect your direction is to decide in advance what you will turn down.

Write down what you are working toward

Describe the work you want more of in two sentences and keep them where you will see them. When an opportunity arrives, hold it up against those sentences and see whether it fits.

Sort requests into three piles

• Yes: clearly moves you toward the work you want

• Maybe: useful, but only if it fits the week

• No: pulls you away, even if it pays well or sounds flattering

Say no kindly

A short, warm refusal protects the relationship. Thank the person, say you cannot take it on right now and, if you can, point them to someone who might. You do not owe a long explanation.